Tinselman

Blue Dragon

photo copyright ©2007 the doubtful guest

Dragons really do live! Of course, all you long horse disbelievers will probably deny the existence of this little beauty (without a second's thought), but I assure you, it is oh-so-very real. And strange. And blue.

It's real name? The pelagic sea slug. For more info, and to look at larger versions of the above great photo, visit the doubtful guest on flickr.

(via: spy's spice)

Megophias Megophias

As of yet, only 2% of the ocean has been explored. And last year alone, over 13,000 previously undiscoverd new species were discovered. So what does one call an undiscovered species?

In 1892 Dr. Anthonid Cornelis Oudemans, director of the Dutch Royal Zoological Gardens at the Hague, published his definitive work on cryptozoology – long before cryptozoology was even a popular idea. Titled The Great Sea-Serpent, this comprehensive work not only describes some 150 sightings (dating back to the 16th century) but also presents various hoaxes and alternative theories.

Oudemans dared to name the Sea-serpent: Megophias megophias. He concluded that the infamous cryptid was something very much like an elongated seal. For this and his other varied conclusions, the reception of the volume was "respectful but cold."

But you can judge it for yourself... a PDF of Oudemans' The Great Sea-Serpent (illustrations and all) has been online for some time. Have fun!

Oudemans may have written the book on sea-serpents but it's Bernard Heuvelmans who is broadly recognized to have been the father of cryptozoology. In 1958 he wrote his ground-breaking volume entitled On the Track of Unknown Animals. But I'm much more interested in his 1968 volume, In the Wake of Sea-Serpents. Because I like the ocean. It's blue.  And mysterious. And I like the idea of undiscovered creatures in the ocean. And the book is fun to read (or browse through).

Heretical Nessy Theory

Please look at the above photo of the Loch Ness Monster. Does it look like an circus elephant to you? No! It does not. It looks like a lake serpent monster and I am furious! I am steaming furious angry! Because some scientist guy (who doesn't deserve to be named) has announced that this photograph, this, one of our most convincing proofs of Nessy, is nothing more than worthless circus tripe. Elephant, ha! Never fear, I am here to prove he is dead wrong.

First, his (incorrect) theory...

a

b

The above two photographs just about sum it up. He believes that R.K. Wilson's 1934 photographs of the Loch Ness Monster (exhibit a.) were actually the trunk of a swimming elephant sticking out of the water (exhibit b.). But if you know anything about the Loch Ness Monster or about elephants (or about me) then you know this is the dumbest thing you've ever heard. Here's why:

1. Would the Republic of Tinselman have chosen a mythical creature as their mascot? Would we have put an elephant in the center of our flag? No! We intuitively know what is real and what is not real. Don't tell us that our mascot is a lie – a trick – or we might just begin to suspect that you are another agent of our #1 enemy: the NSK.
2. Does an elephant have Nessy-like eyes at the end of its trunk? No! Does Nessy have big elephant ears? No! Obviously, only an imbecile would confuse the two. (ha!)
3. My final and most important proof... Nessy has been sighted a number of times since the 1930s, when the circus elephant left Loch Ness, and so there is no way to account for recent sightings such as these:

c

d

(click photos to enlarge)

After all is said and done, we will forgive the unnamed scientist if, for no other reason, he seems to believe in our dear cryptid despite his own arguements to the contrary. He says:

The elephant theory would not explain some of the later sightings. I do believe there is something alive in Loch Ness.

• BBC Article and Video
• CBS News Article
• Previous Loch Ness Post

Myth and Mystery

Last night I watched Incident at Loch Ness. If you're in for a little cryptozoological fun, you must see this documentary by film-making legend, Werner Herzog.

More links:

• Trailer (realplayer)
• Scotsman.com news article

Monsters and Fairies

"What they saw was not Bigfoot, or Sasquatch as I prefer to call him; it was an enormous shadowy figure in the trees, more like a ghost than flesh-and-blood. In a park not far from a city centre, you're not going to get a nine-foot ape-like creature - England doesn't have the habitat to support it. I don't mean that these are the ghosts of some creature which has died; I think it is more complex than that."

– Richard Freeman, of the Center for Fortean Zoology

Complex indeed! I have to admit that Freeman's International-Monster-Template theory (as described in this BBC Magazine article) is just plain fun. At the very least, it's remarkably creative. Anything that blends bigfoot (and other cryptids) with dwarves and fairies is right down my alley; who cares if it's true or not...

Awaiting Cryptid DNA

Oh, don't you just love it when a cryptid makes the international news? Scientists (yes, real scientists) are genetically testing hairs said to be from none other than Bigfoot. Could this actually be the one, the only, the terrible and rare Sasquatch? Stay tuned to the BBC as we all await the earth-shattering results.

Loch Ness and Alien Spores

Wait! Are we seeing things? Is that a reflection on the water? A piece of old driftwood? Or could it be your very own radio-controlled Loch Ness Monster? How excellent! (View video.) Takara will soon be releasing this little guy as part of their Jurassic collection. Now we'll finally be able to thrill and terrorize our neighbors in the spirit of mother Nessy herself!

Except that this version is only a few inches high. No problem, says Takara, we can just mock-up realistic looking scenes with our fake Nessy. And, they say, we will be quite thrilled when our "Loch Ness Monster photos appear in the tabloids!"

Nova says that's sort of how the original Loch Ness legend began. Speaking of which, be very careful if you visit the famous lake. Word has it that alien spores are sparking possession fears around the area. The FBI is involved. People are turning into zombies. The whole place is falling apart. Thankfully, we still have the Loch Ness webcams up and running so we can observe it all from a safe distance. Whew.