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August 21, 2007

The Odious Mini-Wikis


Bad news, citizens! While Wilmey and Angelina were wasting my precious time with news of their "performance", the wikipedians have not rested one moment. And thanks to the loyal spy work of patriotic citizen, Paula Deen, we now know exactly what they're up to!

I want all of you to know: citizen Deen gave her life for this story – she expired soon after returning from the field. We will no longer hear the wandering stories of her sons, Bobby and Jamie, nor will we ever again taste her sweet, southern home cooking.

<lusty cheers and all-around drunken behavior from the Republic of Tinselman masses>

Instead, we will taste revenge!!! Argh!!!

<lusty cheers and all-around drunken behavior from the Republic of Tinselman masses>

Motor_03 I can't exactly quote Deen, because it even took us awhile to figure out what the hell she was jabbering on about. From the best we could tell, it kind of goes like this: the wikipedians have created a clandestine agency and have been planning an attack against the Republic of Tinselman for a long time. Their plan is pure genius! Motor_04_3 They've bred an army of what they call the mini-wikis: miniature, hideously monstrous, virtually indestructible beings which will invade our dearest Republic of Tinselman, whilst riding on miniature, super-powered motorcycles (which are engineered out of recycled wristwatch parts).

So the question remains: how do we fight back? How does a fledgling nation of brave souls defend and overcome the hordes of depraved wikipedians (and their odious mini-wikis)?

In an earlier post, Minister Ren had an inspired idea (and oh, how I wish it were my own own!): replace the emblem of the wikipedia federation with something that will drive them all absolutely bonkers. Responding to Ren's idea, citizen Akiyoshki seems to have come up with the perfect thing (though he died doing it):


At the above miniaturized size, our newly re-designed wikipedia emblem is perfectly harmless, but, at actual size, it can send any weak-minded being into convulsive fits, followed by total insanity (or death) in a matter of only seconds. I warn you, do not enlarge the image... unless you think you can handle it.

So we all agree it's a really great logo, right?... but we've still got an enormous problem: we have no idea how to sneak our emblem onto the wikipedia site.

And even now, the odious mini-wikis are approaching our boarders! We must do something! Quickly!...

August 21, 2007 | Permalink


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I've been keeping a variant of the 'rotating snake' image on my 'fridge (at direct eye level) over the past couple of years. Really improves my quality of life.

Posted by: Danxia | Aug 21, 2007 9:00:12 PM

I also have a kaleidoscope.


Posted by: Danxia | Aug 23, 2007 2:01:23 AM

I have a time machine in my basement, made mainly out of microwaved CDs and the rust from mid-nineteenth century silver spoons. Wait until the miniature, super-powered motorcycles made from watch parts are just about to reach the impenetrable walls of the Republic, and then run the machine backwards and point the Ray of Time at their wheels. Then they will surely perish.

Posted by: Faceless | Aug 23, 2007 4:58:24 PM

Wait - if they are made of watch parts - could we not destroy them with, say, a large magnetic beam? Or maybe a few firehoses? Those things don't look water-resistant.

Posted by: indie | Aug 25, 2007 4:51:26 PM

Or maybe just a well placed hammer?

Posted by: Bonnie | Aug 25, 2007 9:17:11 PM

Or we could send our own wrist-watches into orbit, which would slow the mini-wikis down long enough to make their masters relatively frustrated.

Posted by: Danxia | Aug 26, 2007 12:38:12 AM

Mustard, butter and jam!

Posted by: alli | Aug 27, 2007 2:46:19 PM

Mustard?! Now let's don't be silly.

Posted by: indie | Aug 27, 2007 4:55:19 PM

The work and art of the mini -bikes is hard working done by Mr.José Geraldo Reis Pfau,
from Brasil - he sell it at his site and
we will be very happy if you mentioned it
in your site...ok?

Posted by: Rafael | Apr 7, 2010 5:10:40 PM

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