Uber-Brain Inky Madness

left to right: Gopher Boy Wilmey, Brad Pitt (after disfiguring surgery), Angelina, thug 1, Inky, thug 2

Hell in a Handbasket, Part 3 – Octobrain

We've got problems, citizens. Recently I recieved a note from Cog, a concerned citizen, a portion of which went as followed:

My spider (also Minister of Defense at Museum of Dust) has been missing for some time. I've instigated a world-wide web search for him but no luck to date.

Inky very much enjoys travel in imaginary countries and has a penchant for uncalled-for violence and unnecessary mayhem. RoT seems like the perfect haven for him.

So, if you've seen my spider please tell him we need him -- I'm beside myself, the sponge-cats are restive and the staff are revolting.

IMPORTANT. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CAPTURE, COERCE OR TAMPER WITH THE SPIDER.

He has a large arsenal,  many arms, and a very short temper.

Typically I'd read something like this with a good deal of skepticism. Not this time. Instead I felt a knot forming in the pit of my stomach and, almost immediately, I recalled what I had been trying for so long to forget. Octobrain!

Yes, of course I'm talking about the final episode of Hell in Handbasket and our harrowing escape from the U.S. aliens. To be quite honest, I can't bear to go into all the details. But I can certainly fill you in on some of the more interesting parts!

For example, I'm almost certain we did see Inky. That's him above, between those two alien thugs. I like this shot because I managed to capture everyone (except me).

Super Gopher Boy Wilmey completely lived up to his name! That's him on the left, taken immediately after he burst through the doors and rescued me and Angelina. Wow... what a powerhouse! (By the way, he didn't want me to take his photo, but I said it was history in the making... plus I wanted it for the blog).

Oh yeah... this is that Octobrain jerk. That's what we all called him: Octobrain. But the thugs called him "Dr. Uber-Brain" or just plain "Inky". As you can see, he's not exactly a spider but I'm still almost certain that this is the Inky that Cog lost... in a bloated sort of way. As Cog explained to me, "his defining feature is his beautiful eyes... once seen, never forgotten." I can't think of a more apt description of Octobrain. He practically hyptonized with his powerful stare and he seemed to have no trouble hypnotizing Brad (Pitt).

Oh this Octobrain was hideous. And I'm not just talking physically... he seem to so long ago have lost all semblance of a soul. You know the type: Darth Vaderish. Maybe worse... Emperor Palpatine-ish! Except Emperor Palpatine didn't live in a spherical tank and eat humans for dinner! Worst of all (and I'm sure Cog will be bitterly disapointed to hear this) Octobrain was the mastermind behind the U.S. alien invasion! It was all his planning! His idea! Which leads one to wonder what other U.S. invasions he's planned.

Gopher Boy finally got fed up and made a courageous (but rather foolhardy) attempt to smash Octobrain's glass globe. Unfortunately he only achieved a sore hand before he was beat to a bluddy pulp by the nearest thug. But the distraction did provide us with our means of escape!

To make a long story short, we eventually found an handy escape pod. It was very cool... just like Star Wars.

At the end of the day, I don't think we're any better off. Inky is still out there and we're still at war. Megophias Megophias! Resist the Invasion! Long live the Republic! Long Live the Khan! (me)

Sincerely,
Your illustrious Khan

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