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February 05, 2006

CIA for Kids


Here it is. One of those morbidly fascinating websites that delights even as it appalls. Like that giant wart looking thing on your neighbor's nose. Shinning, gleaming, a big hideous sun of a wart, a super-nova of a wart – your eyes glued to it.

It's the CIA's Homepage for Kid's (ages K-5th) and oh, it is too wonderful for words (in an I-think-I-want-to-throw-up-now sort of way). It's full of wonderful kid-like things like Ginger's CIA Adventure and Meet the K-9 Corps! But my favorite area on the site is Just Say No to Drugs, where your kindergartener can learn loads of fascinating drug factoids like:

Newer smuggling methods are seemingly limited only by a trafficker’s imagination. Couriers swallow bags of heroin, cross the border, and wait for the bags to run their digestive course. Bags of heroin are also put in the gas tanks and tires of cars and driven across borders, or mixed in with garbage that ends up in refuse containers. Sometimes the heroin is placed inside figurines or in furniture. In an extreme example, recently a border patrol unit in Texas found about $5 million worth of narcotics stuffed in human body parts—legs, arms, and intestines—that had been stolen from a hospital. The traffickers said this was to hide the drugs’ smell from drug-sniffing dogs, but it was unsuccessful.


Depressants (sedatives) include chloral hydrate, barbiturates (Amytal, Nembutal, Seconal, phenobarbital), benzodiazepines (Librium, Valium), methaqualone (Quaalude), glutethimide (Doriden), and others (Equanil, Placidyl, Valmid).


After your child has read endless page after page of this stuff, he or she can take the CIA Kid's Drug Quiz. Don't worry – it's all multiple choice, so little Johnny or Susie has a much better chance of doing well on vital drug questions like the following:

Which is not a type of cannibis?

a. Marijuana
b. Hashish
c. Hemp
d. Heroin

A person smuggling small amounts of drugs is sometimes called a

a. Bird
b. Mule
c. Dog
d. Snake

I encourage you to stop by take a look around. I'm sure it will provide you with a wonderful evening (or possibly an entire weekend) of entertainment.

Drug02 a

Drug03 b

Drug04 c

a. Look Mom! These are the materials required to turn opium into heroin!
b. Heroin. With cool Matrix-styled green test tube.
c. Gee, if I become a CIA agent will I be important too?

February 5, 2006 | Permalink


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