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January 04, 2006



Wow! So much is happening so very quickly and, as you can clearly see by this very large elephant-house-thing, the dream of a Republic is becoming a reality!

To start off, construction of the Parliament building is complete. Because nothing in the Republic of Tinselman is boring or normal or unfunky, we've modelled our Parliament after the extraordinarily beautiful (and historic) Lucy the Elephant in Margate City, NJ. We've named our Parliament building Lucy Mark V (because it sounds cool). Plus our building is a big improvement on the original. Here's why:

1. The Mark V dwarfs the original Lucy (I don't remember the exact measurements... it's big).

2. You're not going to believe this one! Remember the glass elevator in Charlie and the Chocolate factory? The howdah of the Mark V is a similar hovering vehicle, but the Ace Hovering Howdaw (AHH) comfortably seats up to 30 people on arabesque settees and it sports a built-in entertainment center and a bar. And it's fast! It will easily be able to gather all members of Parliament to the Lucy Mark V in about an hour.

3. Lucy Mark V walks. This is probably the largest improvement on the original design. There's really no reason for it but it's very impressive and cost a lot of Tinsel.

4. Last but not least... look up there at the very top of the Mark V.  It is the long awaited flag! The great and honorable and amazingly tinselicious symbol of the Republic of Tinselman!


Keep reading for more important info about flag...

I am shaken. I am stirred. I weep. Adam Wilmer, you are a genius of flag-design and flag-making! I appoint you Minister of Flags and Other Sundry Things That Look Like Flags and Other Stuff.

Let's sort through the meanings of Adam's complex symbology (click on his flag to see a larger version).

In the center of the flag is a photograph of the Loch Ness monster. Bravo, Adam, bravo! This obviously has the dual repesentation of myth and the unknown because the citizens of the Republic desire myth and will always strive to reveal the unknown. This, in fact, is at the very center of everything we are and everything we do! (It's just a good thing you didn't put something totally stupid in the center of that flag, like a flying, purple monkey, or it's probable that I would have kicked you out of the Republic, without a second's thought!)

Oh! And those steaming hot dogs... the official food of the Republic! Yum!

And I see you've included the three simple phrases that represent our great nation: "Tinsel!": which requires no explanation, "Woah Hey!": the offical greeting of the Republic and "Wow Magical!": which requires no explanation.

Of course you included gold tinsel on the top and the bottom of the flag. It really is a beauty. I can't see how it could possibly be improved!

Except I did make some improvements...


One of the hot dogs has now become a Wienermobile. This represents the Presidential car and the office of the President (me).

I'm also imagining that we'll need to frighten away our enemies. We won't actually have an army (it's all explained in our constitution). So to avoid war we will use what I call "haunted house" tactics or "boo" tactics. This is why I've included a knife and a hatchet. Other countries will see that and run. And if they don't, I think they'll probably be frightened by the spider. But we won't be frightened because it's furry and sort of cute.

The blue represent the blue skies above our nation (where the sun always shines). The red is for the blood of our enemies (another terrifying boo-tactic). Plus, I like the way that red and blue have that bizarre shaky look when you put them next to one another.

Lastly, in the upper left hand corner, stands brave and powerful Godzilla. And if whoever is frightened of her does not belong in the Republic of Tinselman. We embrace Godzilla! We call her to our side in time of desperate need!

Thank you for your kind attention! Woah-Hey!

January 4, 2006 | Permalink


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Robyn, the additions to the flag are kickalicious... oh yes, I said kickalicious. It gives it all a certain snazz. I love it... and that's not just because I had a hand in its design. I'm proud to be a Tinselania...to steal from the Brits, "the sun never truly sets on the Republic of Tinselman!"

Posted by: Adam Wilmer | Jan 4, 2006 2:36:04 PM

Oh yeah, and I love my new title too... though it will be very tough to print on business cards...oh well! The Minister of Flags and Other Sundry Things That Look Like Flags and Other Stuff, is never done.

Posted by: Adam Wilmer | Jan 4, 2006 2:38:14 PM

Wow-Magical and Whoa-Hey! need to adorn the doors of the Office of Science and Magik. I imagine the building as a small door set in the side of a hill-side, hobbit style. Opening the door reveals a truly massive space that is a visual combination of 22nd century and 18th century. Strange and wonderful machines, creatures and plants fill the many spaces and floors while scientists in white lab coats mingle freely with wizards in cloaks.

Posted by: Bryan William Jones | Jan 4, 2006 3:50:02 PM

We really do need robots too. The ministry of science could build them. I've always thought those Honda Asimo robots were awesome. Maybe Robyn would let you build some. Each would be made of a shiny tinsel reflective metal skin, and have the emblem of our great Republic on them...just so long as they weren't programmed with C-3PO's voice... that'd... just be creepy. Science!

Posted by: Adam Wilmer | Jan 4, 2006 4:00:19 PM

Hey. I _like_ Anthony Daniels' voice. It's not Star Wars without it. Just like it's not Christmas without Santa. Or fudge stripe cookies without Keebler elves. Or Frosted Flakes without Tony T. Tiger.

Posted by: Scott Elyard | Jan 4, 2006 5:59:40 PM

But remember, like the old gods of Lankhmar, invoking Godzilla's wrath must be done only in cases of truly dire need.

Out there is a force greater than man's reckoning.

Unless that man has some sort of oxygen-destroying machine, then it's okay.

Posted by: Scott Elyard | Jan 4, 2006 6:21:37 PM

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