Tinselman

Close Friends With a Count

For the past month, I've been composing the soundtrack for The Immortal Augustus Gladstone. A few days ago, I shared the above piece, Close Friends with a Count, on twitter.

We've been pretty quiet about the film but we're now almost finished with the entire project. Which feels good!

Let me know if you have questions... about the film, about the music, about whatever you like (within reason of course). I'll answer whatever I can! 

The Immortal Augustus Gladstone

 

The above is one of the most recent youtube videos from Augustus Gladstone which, because of a posting on boingboing.net, has recieved a bit of attention.

My Tinselman blog has virtually silent for some time; the few of you who've paid close attention know why... I was beginning work on a documentary. I explain it this way on The Immortal Augustus Gladstone blog...

I began the early planning for this film about a year ago; we were looking for the right subject (meaning person) but had no luck. So we regrouped and changed our strategy and that’s when, through sheer happenstance, we discovered Augustus on YouTube.

We will continue to keep you abrest of our production at our blog. 

There's more at the Official Augustus Gladstone website.

Nixon... Confused and Mourning

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How delightful! A confused Nixon... talking to Spiro Agnew. Or below, Nixon (rapidly) mourns the death of the Hulk.

For more presidential cameos from Marvel comics, check out photontorpedoes' Marvel Presidents set.

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Cigar Boxes Galore

Ever since I became aware of my grandfather's habits, I discovered he would escaped the house at least once a day, taking long walks with cigar in hand. He allowed us to walk with him, however, at an early age it became apparent these walks were no time for frolic... for fun and games. Like him, we had to remain quiet. Contemplative. Introspective. Enveloped in the warm ceremonial scent of cigar smoke. This was fine by me. Somehow it made me feel a little more grown up... walking silently, side by side with this silver haired giant. Wrapped in his smokey halo.

There were cigar boxes galore scattered around Grampy's house; they were a mysterious and wonderful artifact of my grandfather smoking habit. I think my brother still has one.

Flickr user PopKulture has photographed dozens of similar cigar boxes... I recently stumbled across them; they're definetely worth checking out.

 

Thumbelina® Brand Mini-Miniatures™

Imagine a horse that fits inside a high school locker and still leaves room for your books. Imagine a horse that jumps hurdles beneath your legs without ever touching your crotch. Imagine a horse that sleeps under your bed in perfect comfort.

Imagine no more! Geneticists at the New Lindbald Centre for Genetic Research in Braunschweig, Germany have created Thumbelina® brand Mini-Miniature House Horse™. When released next summer (2009), the Thumbelinas will be sure to delight both children and adults! They will be released in either male or female sexes, will come in a variety of colors and patterns and, at adulthood, will rarely grow taller than 17 inches! It's only ashame they won't be breedable.

Says Helmut Hienzel Diztl, Ph.D., one of the inventors of the Thumbelina Mini-Miniatures, "In many ways they're more like dogs. Horses are far too spirited to make a decent indoor pet, so we were very careful with the Thumbelina's architecture. In appearance, they're exactly similar to a shrunken miniature horse, but mentality, psychologically speaking, we gave them a pack animal mentality. In fact, we took much of the genetic data straight from dogs. Though in truth, they really are a delicate cocktail of many animals."

Currently, the Lindbald Centre is incubating and growing the horses as they lock down U.S., European, and Asian distributors.

Child in the Sky

My dad's photograph of that unforgettable Air Haiti flight.

True, it's already pretty bad that the plane itself is practically falling apart. What makes it worse is that there's a foot high drop right in the middle of the Port-au-Prince runway. Will you take your chances?

Wait. Before you jump aboard, let me tell you more. Rules and regulations are a bit play-it-by-ear in Haiti. For example, during your flight, something like the following might just happen (let's picture it)...

Halfway from Port-au-Prince to the Dominican Republican, the oh-so-friendly pilot calls an 11 year old kid and his father up to the cockpit and asks the boy if he'd like to sit down in the co-pilot's chair. This 11 year old, being an airplane fanatic (and having logged countless hours on an early Macintosh edition of Microsoft's Flight Simulator) can hardly believe his shit blind luck! Oh, to gaze out at the oncoming landscape; to stare at the buttons, the knobs, the countless gauges! This is paradise! And so, our sensitive pilot, suddenly acting on impulse (and perhaps recognizing the love for the sky in this young lad) leans over and turns off automatic pilot.

In a gesture, he flips it off and asks the boy if he'd like to fly.

If it's not already obvious, this is a true story. The 11 year old boy was my younger brother, Ryan, who, without hesitation, took hold of that small wheely-thingy (or whatever the hell you call it in a plane) and piloted a plane full of Air Haiti passengers over the brown wastelands of Haiti for well over five minutes (even single-handedly piloting the turn past an oncoming cloud).

So... would you still like to take a ride on Air Haiti? Keep in mind, you may end up with an 11 year old pilot! But also remember, the passengers on that Air Haiti flight experienced nothing out of the ordinary that day. My brother, Ryan, was a more than adequate pilot and, at 11 years old, it's quite possible he'd logged more hours (via Microsoft simulator) than the pilot himself!

Irrefutable Long Horse Evidence

On December 4th, 2006, Skeptic said,

Please provide a picture of a skeleton or some other irrefutable evidence. If you are doing this as a joke, grow up and shut up. Thank you.

Well, Mr. Skeptic, here's your picture, kindly provided by The National Long Horse Museum in Hauteives, France. We long horse believers are quite sure that if you continue to deny this irrefutable long horse proof, you simply don't want to believe.

Unfortunately the skeleton is not in the best of condition. When I asked the Director of the museum to comment on this, he replied, "Vous croyez vraiment ceci? Vous des Américains croire n'importe quoi." I don't really understand French, but I think this roughly translates to,

Is this not a grand and astounding work of nature? You bet it is... so we now share it with you, our dearest Americans; you will always be like brothers and sisters to us (and three cheers for the long horse)!

Note: New! Do all your long horse reading at the dedicated long horse category!

Long Horse of the Temoekoes

This Balinese long horse totem, posted by Mark Frauenfelder (ILHBA), clearly proves the existence of the long horse. On it's own, it should be enough to lay all long horse doubts to rest.

And yet, there's more...

Long horses were introduced to Bali by the Europeans in the 16th century. When the Balinese first saw the long horses, walking out onto the beaches, they fell on their faces, trembling. Of the event, it was written by the Dutch explorer, Cornelis de Houtman:

"The beasts are noble, powerful, and yet humble. To the natives, the long horses are as Gods and the Balinese worship them as such."

Even today, in Bali, there remains an undercurrent of worship and remembrance of the long horse. The sacred tree, known as Our Long Horse of Temoekoes (first noticed on June 17th, 1993) is a perfect example of this. The tree is "set apart" by a 2' high mark in the shape of a long horse. And even though your average Balinese would deny the belief of such a thing, thousands of pilgrims have continued to flock to the site, ever since it first appeared, to pray for miracles and healing.

Talk about proof! Wow! We are even more convinced than ever (and some of us are talking about a group pilgrimage to the site).

Thank you to Delissa Mel, a card carrying member of the ILHBA, who went all the way to Bali for this long horse story. Climbing to the site can be difficult and, unfortunately, Delissa forgot her camera. If any tinsel-reader has been to Our Long Horse of Temoekoes, please post your photo and send me the link!

Longbody Lightning

Yesterday, Crystal May Marbury, the daughter of Lord Marbury, the one time owner of this noble thoroughbred, emailed me the above image. As she said in her email,

I hope this portrait of jockey P.J. Tarley, sitting astride "Longbody Lighting", aids you in your campaign against this anti-long-horse conspiracy. My father owned Longbody and, for a short time, while it was fashionable, Longbody was known as "The long horse that almost won the Derby."

Longbody was one of the last known long horses around. And he would have won, had he raced. Instead, he was disqualified. At the last minute, there was an important "new rule" regarding length of flank; Longbody obviously exceeded legal measurements.

If that's not enough to convince all you long horse "skeptics", then what about the long horses practically jumping out of the pages of great literature? Especially those that innocently adorn children's books... they're everywhere! From the Dutch classic Pluk van de Petteflet to the whimsically delightful Jeeno, Heloise, and Igamor, the Long, Long Horse (and who will ever be able to forget the kindness and loyalty of Igamor the long horse?... we will always remember him as a true friend).

The evidence is overwhelming! And still, we gather together more evidence daily! Like this never-before-shown-in public long donkey. I myself had never even heard of the animal, but we can no longer be surprised by anything! The long horse is real. Like a voice, it has spoken. And it is saying,

I am a long horse, and damn proud of it! Don't stand in my way, or I'll crush you (and believe me, I weigh a hell of a lot more than those other wimpy equines)! I am a god among horses and men. But men enjoy the kill... which, by the way, is exactly what they did to all of us! Kill, kill, kill. Whew... it wasn't pretty either. And now you don't want us to be real! How convenient. Then who among you is the 'true believer'? Who has the faith to accept that which he cannot see? And so I say, unless you become as little children, you will never walk side by side with the long horse (which might just explain all those children's books).

Please, help keep the memory of the long horse alive for future generations. Spread the word and save the long horse.

(thanks Lord Marbury, and Brqkke)

Proof at the Museum

Tinselman would like to thank all those at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Like us, they also believe in long horses! And they've been working very hard to prove our point by digging up art and objects of the past that depict the long horse.

Take, for example, this urn, dating from 1400 - 1370 B.C.. it virtually proves that long horses were used in chariot races. As Tinselman reader Daniel says,

I think this would fit splendidly into [the rapidly multiplying] collection of long horses throughout history. And... this is [yet another] real item. Anybody can go to the met and have a look at it if they don't believe it. Now isn't that cool?