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January 06, 2006
Atomic Death Cleaner
It's time for another appointment. Bryan William Jones, I appoint you Minister of Science and Magic and Water Buffalo Control. Why? Because you took one look at the Eternal Holiday Palace of Tinsadelic Summertime and a lighting bolt of an idea popped into your brain. This is what you said:
Keeping all those skylights clean would be a problem. Sounds like just the sort of job for little crawling window cleaning robots. Yeah.... perhaps that needs to be the first product to come out of the Ministry of Science and Magik?
Wow! So eloquently and brilliantly stated; this is a brilliant-genius concept... I love this robot idea! And from it I have intuited that you are the most amazing sort of genius. In fact, I found the proof for it at your web site.
First, a a close-up photo of a water buffalo. These are wow-magical creatures. But they are also dangerous creatures and only a (courageous) genius would get close enough to take this most excellent photograph. Were you frightened? Were you shivering? Or did you lock eyes with pitiable creature (in one of those primal staring contests) until it melted away into a veritable puddle of water buffalo slime?
Yes... you're a genius because of the water buffalo but also because... you have a funka-megalicious ill-highly-contagious job title: Retinal Neurophysiology Scientist! Woah-hey! You - are - smart! And in fact, I'm adding that really big word to your Republic of Tinselman title: Bryan William Jones, Minister of Science and Magic and Water Buffalo Neurophysiology Control (and who could possibly say I am not generous with titles?).
So, Bryan, we (the peoples of the Republic of Tinselman) are currently all awaiting your retinal-scopic robotic-crawling-superbrain window-cleaning-machine. But of course, that's not the name of this robot. The real name must be much more exciting! Something like "Atomic Death Cleaner" or "C5X-70 Super-Planetary Window-bot". You'll be able to come up with something. (A photograph would be best... I've provided some of these classics as inspiration for your design.)
By the way, if you don't come up with at least something, I will strip you of your honorable title and I will force you to listen to my rendition of Life on Mars by David Bowie... I'm told it's pretty tortuous.
January 6, 2006 | Permalink
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Comments
Welcome to the Republic B.W. Now all we need is to recruit Kristin Kreuk our RoT/Canadian ambassador... what? I can dream...
Posted by: Adam Wilmer | Jan 6, 2006 6:59:43 PM
I am most honored and humbly hope to live up to the expectations of this appointment. I do however, have an admission to make..... The water buffalo was most skillfully......stuffed...... That's right, museum quality taxidermy.
While I am bold and fearless, I am also, by the grace of God, gifted with some degree of situational awareness that has preserved my body and spirit more than once in dangerous situations. This sense lets me know that I would never stand in such close proximity to a live water buffalo, as they are foul tempered animals concerned more with self preservation and less concerned with my welfare. Instead should I ever have the opportunity to visit far away places where water buffalos live, I would rely upon science, technology and just a little magic to capture quality images from afar.
All that said, onto the issue at hand! Robots! I will endeavor to assemble a robot worthy of and befitting our Republic. Something that is worthy of whoa-hey! and wow-magical. Give me some time to fabricate and image this construction and I will present it here for all to see.
P.S. Check out the Life on Mars cover by Seu Jorge. C'est tres cool from a minimalist perspective.
Posted by: BWJones | Jan 6, 2006 10:56:34 PM
On a completely different note, it occured to me today that we still need a national anthem. Now, I realize that the best bet would be for Prez Ro-Mill to compose a masterful work, but he's probably really busy what with his constant battling with LBJ. Now, I myself have no musical ability, and I know there are others amongst us: Scott, B.W... one of us has to have moderate musical talent... We should either (as a collected effort) compose a brief anthem... or find someone who can. I don't mind if it falls to me to compose the piece, but it will more than likely result in a Casio keyboard with one touch notes, and the three bar hymn from Close Encounters, (the only notes I can play by ear...) we really don't want that...
Posted by: Adam Wilmer | Jan 8, 2006 12:33:07 PM
Musical talent? Who me? I guess, if you think the anthem could use an awesome layered bunch of drum solos.
And isn't that what every anthem needs?
"(the only notes I can play by ear...)"
That's actually pretty impressive. Even if I _could_ play keyboard music, I'd have to use my fingers. That reminds me of the guy in the 1980s who appeared on That's Incredible who could solve a Rubik's Cube using only his feet. In sixty seconds or less.
Posted by: Scott Elyard | Jan 9, 2006 12:24:12 PM
