Sleep. Sleep. You all fall into a very deep sleep (except for Rupey... he is not meant to hear this message because, as we all know, he's never been one of my true followers).
In this most fantabulous dream, guess what you see?! It's a vision! Of light and loveliness. And you fall to the ground and weep, as I, the Universal Khan, spread my arms before you. You shiver as I say, "Stand!"
(By the way, except for the light, I don't really look anything like this picture, but it was the best I could do on such short notice.)
I have, in a matter of speaking, transcended... sort of like, if you've ever seen 2001 (and what a great movie, by the way—and I was kind of worried that once I transcended, I'd forget about films and books and, for a while, I have to admit, I completely forgot about the Republic, but then it all came back to me! And I can tell you more later, but that's not important at the moment. The only thing that's really important is the following:
1. I am no longer Robyn, but have been "absorbed" and become the Universal Khan of infinite time and space. I only appear as Robyn to you, because I know that makes you somehow comfortable (just like 2010, which was an adequate movie, but it had it's problems).
By the way, would you believe, they like disco here within the Universal Khan?! It's all very complicated. I can't wait to tell you more.
2. Rupert Murdoch has been using the Republic of Tinselman for his own gain, so now we will now use him. He will know nothing about this dream (even if you talk about it... because I've hypnotized him with my Khanish power), so you must follow him... to the center of the Life-force (of me, the Universal Khan). He desires to kill me, but do not worry. He is not aware of my transformation, and I will punish him.
Okay everybody... dream over.
*snort*
*cough*
*sneeze*
Weird... I just had the strangest dream!
And you were there!
And you,
and you!
-Bonnie
Posted by: Bonnie | January 08, 2007 at 01:30 PM
I highly doubt what happened to could be attributed to anything other than my extreme lack of food.....
Posted by: indie | January 08, 2007 at 05:19 PM
You'll never believe what I just saw while meditating!
Oh . . . you saw it too?
Indie, I'm sure it wasn't your lack of food that caused it . . . I've been eating well enough in here.
And can a transcendent being really be 'caused'? (Go transfigure . . . .)
All praise the Universal Khan!!
Posted by: Danxia | January 08, 2007 at 08:53 PM
I can see you all here courtesy of my extensive CCTV network, and you all look stupid, sleeping all the time with that vacant look on your faces.
Why don't you do what I've been advocating all along, and talk to the man in the black suit.
----
http://tinselman.typepad.com/republic/2006/12/whats_this.html#comment-26456223
Posted by: President Rupert | January 09, 2007 at 08:41 AM
Woah.
Light and lovliness. Warm Fuzzy. Shining brightness. Beautiful, peaceful.... zzzzz...
Hold up! How'd this happen? O Great Illustrious Universal Khan, will you ever be able to return to your beloved Tinselman? Should we continue our search if you're, well... not really a some"body" that we can rescue and take back on the ship? Can you, uh, float back to RoT?
Posted by: Alli | January 09, 2007 at 10:40 AM
Citizens,
Why isn't everyone celebrating? We've got the Khan back, and I'm free! Let's use that boat, and get out of here!
Posted by: Danixia | January 10, 2007 at 08:41 AM
Well, Danxia, I guess we would celebrate, but right now I have the whole Dorothy feeling - you know, the one where Glenda tells her she could have gone home at any time by using the shoes? Agh. All this searching, and all for (almost) naught. And what about Cadmere? What do I do with him? Any help here, strange lawyer man sir?
Posted by: indie | January 10, 2007 at 03:45 PM
What? Oh, Cadmere, right . . .
You can hold him indefinitely if you like.
But I think we've exhausted his intelligence potential. You now know the way out . . . like Rupert said, the guy with black suit and the boat.
Posted by: stange man | January 10, 2007 at 10:01 PM
A thought: since Cadmere was abandoned here (with nothing but a cup of cinnamon coffee) by his own people, perhaps he wouldn't mind switching sides and coming back to RoT with us?
Posted by: Alli | January 11, 2007 at 06:19 AM
Rupey,
why did you first tell us to ignore the boat (see 'What's this?') but now you tell us to use it?
Man in black suit,
can you tell us where this boat leads?
Khan,
Now that you are everywhere, and every-when, should we mortals still regard Mount St. Tinsel as your home? Is there something unique about this place? Is it an extension of your temporal form, like Robyn Miller used to be?
Furthermore, can you tell us what the future of the Republic will be? Will the Enterprise crew get home? Will we still need an earthly ruler, like a President, or can we report directly to you? Who will win the RoT vs. NSK/Wiki/US/MoD/NPS war?
Am I asking too many questions?
(ha ha Rupey didn't hear that!)
Posted by: Danxia | January 11, 2007 at 08:15 AM
And what about Scarecrow's brain?
:D
-Bonnie
Posted by: Bonnie | January 11, 2007 at 09:13 AM
Bonnie,
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
Danxia
Posted by: Danxia | January 12, 2007 at 01:44 AM
That's funny, I seem to recall seeing that photograph of the Khan somewhere before...hmmmm...
Posted by: Adam Wilmer | January 12, 2007 at 04:53 AM
SARCASM DETECTED........done
sarcasm_type =>
http://www.google.com.au/search?hl=en&rls=RNWA%2CRNWA%3A2003-33%2CRNWA%3Aen&q=%22that%27s+funny%2C+I+seem+to+recall%22&meta=
initializing punishment . . . .done
recipient=wilmey
Posted by: Thought Police | January 13, 2007 at 09:59 AM
Yes, OK, Danxia and friends. I realize you want to know where this boat leads. But you gotta just get on board, not knowing where it takes you, if you wanna ride this boat. That's the fee.
Posted by: so-called "man in black suit" | January 20, 2007 at 01:00 PM
*steps into the boat*
*has been hibernating for too long and hasn't yet regained use of vocal cords*
Posted by: Joelson Carl | January 20, 2007 at 06:42 PM
For some reason this reminds me of "Don't pay the ferryman" by Chris De Burgh.
-Bonnie
Posted by: Bonnie | January 20, 2007 at 09:49 PM
But... I don't like boats.
Posted by: indie | January 25, 2007 at 07:07 AM
indie, it's either the boat or staying put for eternity. it's only just left with bonnie, alli, joelson, danxia, wilmey and shatner, but you could still catch up if you sprint.
Posted by: Rupey | January 26, 2007 at 01:42 AM
*drags Cadmere by his handcuffs* Ok, fine. I'm leaving. Have fun Rupey. Kill lots of spiders, okay?
Wait guys! I'm coming!
Posted by: indie | January 26, 2007 at 05:10 AM
Yikes! Eternity! Well that changes things a bit. Where did you say we were going? I can't swim, so...
-Bonnie
Posted by: Bonnie | January 26, 2007 at 12:07 PM
Home, my dears, you are going home, where your funkturos await.
Posted by: Rupey | January 26, 2007 at 07:54 PM
are we there yet?
Posted by: Danxia | February 01, 2007 at 06:26 AM
Ha! Danxia, you beat me to it! I was gonna say that!
-Bonnie
Posted by: Bonnie | February 01, 2007 at 07:52 AM
Bonnie, I actually felt I was channelling your spirit as I said it.
Posted by: Danxia | February 02, 2007 at 08:03 AM